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Glossary of Offbeat Nautical Terms
                                      by Cap'n Jack Perdue

Welcome to the weird and wonderful world of nautical terms. The dictionary tells us the word 'nautical' pertains to seamen, also to ships and navigation. The scope of our glossary will be very broad, from unusual fish to weird winds to strange happenings at sea. In fact, all the things that would interest our boating readers.

Every word and phrase listed in this glossary is taken from a dictionary or reference book. Some will already be familiar to you; quite a few will not. The derivations supplied are accurate, the editorializing is questionable.

Try working some of these odd nautical definitions into conversation at the marina or boat club bar. It could be good for a round of drinks. Good luck!

Fantod
This is the name given to a very nervous and high-strung skipper. Captain Queeg was a fantod. If you happen to be a fantod, better that you don't get involved with any of these strange nautical terms. You could likely wind up in restraint without a cellular phone.

Brickfielder
A brickfielder, sometimes known as a southern buster, is a very cold wind that comes up from the south in Australia. Don't forget, of course, that south of Australia is the Antarctic. But that still doesn't explain why they cal it a brickfielder.

Australians like to call things Willy. There's the Willy Willy, a heavy wind and rainstorm along their northern coast. Then there's the Canned Willy, which is Australia's named for corned beef.

Oarfish
There may not be any still alive, but until recently they swam in the China Sea and created a legend.

The Oarfish is a remarkable eel-like creature that grows to a length of 25 feet or more, with a wavy fringe-like dorsal fin that runs from its blunt head to its pointed tail. A dozen spiny rays, each about two feet long, stick up like antennae from its head.

It sounds like a crazy joke, but it is very real. And no doubt it created those early seafarers' sightings of horrible sea serpents! (Top)

Mitten money
Mitten money is the extra charge demanded by a registered ship's pilot in cold weather, In Australia that includes when a Brickfielder or a Willy Willy is blowing. (See above.)

I wonder if 'cold weather' means the same to an Eskimo as it does to an Argentinean. And how does mitten money work? Maybe 10 dollars for every degree drop in temperature, but twenty dollars if the ship's pilot forgot his mittens!

Beak-head
That was the original name for a marine toilet and is the reason we call them 'heads' today.

A beak-head was a small platform built near the bow of a ship on which crew's latrines were located. This was to place it as far as possible from the captain's quarters.

From the beak-head, the head-chute carried the stuff overboard. By the way, it is 'head', singular, if you have only one marine toilet aboard. But you already knew that if your were using your head.

Fathom
There are six feet in a fathom. The reason that Samuel Clemens chose Mark Twain as his nom-de-plume was that that was the call from the lead man on a Mississippi riverboat when the depth reached 12 feet, the draft of most loaded riverboats.

Just think. If that draft had been nine feet, we would probably know him today as Mark One-and-a-half! (Top)

Jetsam
In general terms, while flotsam is anything that is accidentally swept overboard, jetsam is something that is deliberately tossed over the side.

For instance, a guest aboard your boat who has become obnoxious can rightly be regarded as jetsam.

Tsunami
A tsunami is a giant wave usually caused by a seismic disturbance on the ocean floor. Giant waves are not uncommon but the accurate measurement of their size is very rare. Understandably. In 1933, in the South Pacific Ocean, the USS Ramapo was in a position to measure a wave that topped 112 feet! And it actually survived this gigantic wave that very nearly rolled it over.

Shades of "The Poseidon Adventure."

Blackwell hitch
A blackwell hitch is a clever way to tie a rope to a hook. There is also a double blackwell hitch that is even cleverer.

An Englishman, Thomas Blackwell invented them both, while sailing alone around the world, with plenty of time on his hands.

He died at sea, still sailing alone, at age 80. (Top)

Flucky
Well, now, a Flucky is a Scottish word for an unexpected puff of hard wind. In some parts of the Scottish highlands it is known as a McFlucky. Another food word from Scotland is a flam, an uncertain and baffling wind.

Both of these winds are particularly important to Scotsmen who wear kilts!

Thalweg
A thalweg is a line drawn on a map or chart which follows the deepest course of a river constituting a boundary between countries.

It has been noted that, on some Quebec maps, a thalweg is shown down the center of the Ottawa River. But not, incidentally, between Quebec and Labrador. I wonder if there is any significance in all this. (Top)